


Yesterday - Inktober 2018

by kaappi



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Blood, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Inktober 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-04 01:30:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaappi/pseuds/kaappi
Summary: Prompts for inktober 2018. Random shenanigans with some brotherly fluff & angst.





	1. Torn

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to post even though this thing will be kind of messy. I wanted to write more for this month, but things got busy at work. 
> 
> Every chapter will be for one prompt, and the chapters aren't connected. This thing is kinda leo-centric? I needed to practice writing the rise turtles (and something that isn't angst, but obviously i failed), so here we are! thanks for dropping by!
> 
> Chapter 1 prompt - Kigurumi

“Raph.”

Raphael mumbled in his sleep, dragging his blanket over his head.

“Raph.”

The big turtle frowned, rolling over onto his other side, away from the noise.

“Raph!”

Someone climbed over him, and with a heavy sigh Raphael reached for the lamp on his desk, opening his eyes. Leonardo was draped over him, looking down at him with sad eyes.

“Raph, it’s horrible,” Leo whispered to him. Whatever had happened wasn’t apparently horrible enough that Leo wanted to wake up everyone in the lair, so he was whispering, but horrible enough that the turtle in blue had come to wake up _him_ in the middle of the night.

Raph hid a yawn behind his hand, pushing himself up into a sitting position, Leo sliding off of his shell in the process. Raph pressed his tired eyes closed for a moment, and the next time he opened them something blue was being held right in front of his face.

“Look at it! It’s ruined!”

Raph pushed it away from his face so that he could properly look at it, recognizing it as Leo’s unicorn onesie. He couldn’t see anything wrong with it. Raph grabbed the edge of the clothing, pulling it down to see Leo’s distressed face.

“What’s wrong? It looks okay.”

“Here!” Leo lifted the onesie back up, pointing to a spot where one’s knee would be if they were wearing it. “It’s ripped here. And you know what’s going to happen? It’s only going to rip further, and soon there’ll be nothing left!”

Raph closed his eyes again, listening to his brother be overly dramatic about the rip. He knew Leo loved that onesie, had begged Splinter to get it, and had treasured it ever since getting it. But the rip really wasn’t _that_ big of a deal.

“Leo,” Raph said, his tone surprisingly calm. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“Exactly. I can’t sleep without it.”

“It’s not going to get destroyed during one night. You can wear it.”

“I can’t,” Leo gasped, as if the mere idea was impossible, staring at the spot that was the cause of his anxiety. “I can’t risk it.”

“Then sleep without it.”

“I tried! But I can’t, I’m so used to wearing it now!”

Raph dragged his hand over his face, just wanting to go back to sleep. But Leo was in one of those moods where nothing was going to change his mind. He was convinced that he couldn’t sleep without the onesie.

“Gimme that,” Raph sighed, snatching the onesie from Leo’s hands. “I’ll fix it.”

Leo blinked stupidly at him. “You- you’ll fix it?”

“That’s why you came here, right?”

His brothers knew that Raph knitted sometimes, but he hadn’t really fixed any clothes. Partially because they didn’t own any, except for a couple of disguises.

“Well, I know you knit, but I didn’t think you could… fix it,” Leo said, and Raph gave him a dry gaze.

“So you woke me up just so you could complain about this?”

Leo grinned sheepishly, and Raph shook his head at him. He looked down at the onesie, realizing how little experience he had with a task like this. This onesie meant a lot for Leo, and Raph definitely didn’t want to ruin it.

“Maybe we should ask April to do something about it in the morning,” Raph said hesitantly, handing the onesie back towards Leo. April had crashed at the lair tonight, so they wouldn’t even have to call her over. “She has five fingers, she wouldn’t rip it further-”

“No no no, I wouldn’t trust it with anyone but you!” Leo objected, pushing the onesie back at Raph, who looked surprised. The bigger turtle felt a bit flattered – his brothers hadn’t teased him about his knitting, but he was sure that Leo and Mikey had been joking about it behind his back. So, for Leo to want him to fix something, especially something he cared about this much…

“I thought you thought my hobby was stupid,” Raph said, looking down at the blue cloth in his hands. Leo looked back at him, then leaned forward so that Raph would have to look at him.

“What? Where’d you get that?” Leo asked, as if offended that Raph had just said that. “Dude, the scarf you knitted me last year? An absolute banger. The hue of blue is totally last season, but I’m still wearing it, _that’s_ how comfy it is!”

Raph stared at Leo for a moment, but saw that his brother was serious. Raph gave him a small smile, which Leo returned. Yeah, maybe he had just been thinking too much about it. His attention slid back to the onesie, and so did Leo’s.

“I don’t even know how that happened,” Leo muttered, glaring at the hole. “I bet Mayhem got to it somehow.”

April had brought Mayhem with her, and the smaller mutant had been very curious about exploring every room in the lair. Mayhem had been to the lair only a few times, so there had been a lot for him to explore – perhaps including Leo’s room too. Leo hadn’t seen him enter his room, but that thing knew how to be sneaky. Leo crossed his arms over his chest, now very sure that this was Mayhem’s fault.

Something inside the onesies’ pant leg moved, causing both turtles to look at it, not having noticed the lump inside it before. And as if summoned by Leo’s thoughts, Mayhem dropped down from inside the hem, falling softly on the bed. They blinked down at the small pet, and Mayhem blinked back up at them.

Then all hell broke loose, Leo yelling curses at Mayhem while the small creature fled from him towards the door of the room. Leo lunged, his hands almost reaching Mayhem’s soft fur, but the small mutant teleported through the door, sending Leo slamming against it face-first. Raph flinched at the loud sound of Leo’s skull hitting the wood, standing up from his bed.

“Uh, Leo? You okay?”

No answer, as the turtle in blue lay still on the floor. With some concern Raph took a step closer to check on him, when Leo shot up.

“Oh, it is _on!_ ”

With that his little brother was gone, slamming the door shut behind him. It didn’t take more than a few seconds for yelling and crashing sounds to be audible, and Raph sighed. He started going through his drawers, trying to remember if he had any blue yarn left. It was no use to run after Leo anymore; the rest of the lair was bound to be awake by now.

Despite having big hands and only six fingers, he handled the needles and pins swiftly. The task of fixing the onesie was easier than he had thought, but Raph wasn’t even halfway done when the loud noises neared his door. He lifted his head up just in time to see the door flying open, April standing there with her bat in her hand, her glasses sideways on her forehead, looking like she was ready to strangle someone. She kicked Leo inside the room before looking up, her expression turning confused when she saw Raph sitting on the bed.

“Oh. Wrong room, sorry, Raph. Didn’t have the time to put on my glasses because _someone_ woke me up by running over the bed I was sleeping on-”

“Mayhem ran over you first, I was just going after him!”

“He doesn’t weigh a ton like you, _Leo!_ ”

She grabbed Leo’s ankle, starting to drag him away, Leo clawing at the floor, sending a helpless look at Raph, who looked back just as helplessly. He was always ready to defend his brothers, but April’s wrath was something even he’d rather avoid. Leo should’ve known the consequences of waking her up.

“Um, it’s… it’s fine if you leave him here,” Raph said with a hesitant voice, trying to appear small when April turned to look at him icily. She weighed him with her gaze, but ended up letting go of Leo’s leg. Mayhem was sitting on April’s shoulder, purring as he looked down at Leo’s defeated form on the floor.

The door was slammed shut a second time tonight, leaving Raph to stare at Leo on the floor. The turtle in blue had definitely had a meeting with April’s bat, judging by the bumps on his head.

“...You still alive, bro?”

“...Maybe,” came a mumbled reply. “Thanks for the save.”

Raph watched Leo drag himself over to the bed, then leaned back against his wall, continuing with his work. Leo slumped down next to Raph, leaning his head against his side, sighing heavily.

“I guess April isn’t going to sleep here for a while,” Leo muttered, and Raph picked up the regret in his tone.

“She won’t stay mad for long,” Raph tried to reassure him. “You should be worried about Mikey and Don. You must’ve woken them up too.”

Mikey’s revenge pranks Leo could take, but you never knew what Don might come up with. He had a bad habit of spending most of his nights on his inventions rather than on sleep, but when he did sleep, he wanted to sleep, not to be interrupted. As did anyone, but Don could get _really_ grumpy about it.

“Not helping,” Leo groaned, not wanting to think about how mad his brothers were about him chasing Mayhem in the middle of the night.

Raph kept working, almost done now. Finally he turned the fabric over, looking at the finished product, surprised at how good the outcome was. The fix was barely noticeable. Excited to see Leo’s reaction Raph turned to him, only to see that Leo had fallen asleep while leaning against him. Raph lifted his hand to shove his brother awake, but ended up hesitating. Leo had some nerve to wake him up and make him work while he only fell asleep, but… at least he was asleep now.

Raph set the onesie away, not having the heart to wake Leo up. He shifted Leo a little in order to be able to lie down. Once Raph was settled Leo adjusted his position, pulling some of Raph’s blanket over himself, clearly still awake. Raph shot him a dirty look, even though Leo couldn’t see it. Leo had just faked being asleep while he worked, that little... He’d just push him off of the bed-

“You were right,” Leo mumbled sleepily. “I can sleep without the onesie.”

“But not without making a scene first,” Raph mumbled, still trying to make up his mind whether to push Leo down or not. But despite his sleepiness the younger turtle was trying to pull some of the blanket over Raph as well, but didn’t quite reach all the way over his shell. Raph grabbed the blanket himself, pulling it over the both of them, finally ready to go back to sleep.

“...Did April call me fat?” Leo suddenly broke the silence, and Raph groaned. “She said I weigh-”

“Leo, just sleep, or I’m kicking you out.”

“It’s just my shell-”

“ _Leo._ ”

“Fiine.”

 _Finally_ Raph was able to close his eyes and enjoy the silence. He was almost drifting off when he felt Leo press himself a bit closer.

“Thanks, Raph,” Leo whispered quietly, and Raph wasn’t sure if Leo had even meant for him to hear it. He smiled, wrapping an arm around Leo, and finally the lair was silent.

Apart from the guestroom, where Mayhem was contently purring, dreaming about the shrieking turtle April was chasing with her bat.


	2. Fade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some blood & mentions of injuries.
> 
> Chapter 2 prompt - Scars

“I present to you – the shiniest shell in all of New York!”

Mikey’s announcement made both Don and Leo turn their heads towards the door of the bathroom, where Raph stood, showing off his recently cleaned shell. The spiky shell really _was_ shining, meaning that Mikey must’ve used more than two bottles of soap, some polishing oil, and perhaps a tiny bit of magic. Raph’s shell was never shiny – clean, maybe, but not _shiny._

“What did you use to get it this…” Don had come closer, now running his finger over the side of Raph’s shell, but something stopped him. He lifted his finger and squinted at it. “...painty?”

Mikey jumped over to him, clasping his hand over his mouth, pulling him to the side. “Shh! I couldn’t get the pink paint off, so I just painted over it! He won’t notice until both colors scrub off!”

Mikey had had a little accident with his paints the other day, some of his pink paint ending up splattered on Raph’s shell. Raph hadn’t noticed, had only been pleasantly surprised when Mikey had all of a sudden promised him a shell scrubbing. Don looked dryly at his little brother, shaking his head at his way of fixing the problem.

“Wow, I can’t believe it,” Leo said, having gotten closer as well to give the spiky shell a look. “Raph doesn’t smell _at all!_ You did the impossible, Mikey!”

“Hey.” Raph gave Leo a look, but was too happy about the cleaned shell to mind the good-natured teasing. Cleaning his big shell took a lot of time and effort, the spiky parts being tricky, so he turned around to give a grateful smile for the youngest. “Thanks Mikey. I owe you one.”

“Anytime!” Mikey beamed, but turned thoughtful. “But of course you could pay me back right now... by playing a round of _Motorcrash_ with me!”

“You’re on,” Raph grinned. “I’ll even let you take the red monster truck.”

“Really? But you just unlocked it!” Mikey jumped excitedly on Raph’s shoulder as he so usually did, but now that Raph’s shell had just been washed with extra soap Mikey’s legs slid along the slippery surface, and the turtle found himself from the floor. Leo couldn’t help snorting at the sight, but offered his hand to help Mikey back up.

“Think you went a bit overboard with the soap?” Leo grinned while Mikey rubbed the back of his head.

“Sorry, Mikey, you okay?” Raph looked apologetically down at him, and Mikey smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay! I should’ve known it was slippery, I’m the one that used all that soap on it!”

“And how much, exactly, did you use?” Don asked, and Mikey looked thoughtful as he made a new attempt at climbing the biggest brother, this time mindful of the slipperiness, and finally he had his usual spot on Raph’s shoulder.

“Uhh… One bottle on the left side, another on the right, and then the spikes, and-”

“Alright, alright. Come on Leo, it’s your turn.” Don turned towards the bathroom when Raph and Mikey headed to play their game. Mikey’s shell had its turn coming as well, but there was no way he would stay still now that he had gaming company. “Let’s see if there’s any soap left.”

Leo leaned on his ōdachi sword as he watched after Mikey and Raph, lifting the sword over his shoulder when he turned to follow Don. The bathroom was still filled with bubbles, and even the floor outside the door was wet.

“How can washing one shell create such a mess?” Don asked, frowning at the state the bathroom was in.

“Well, it is one big shell,” Leo commented, looking around as well, poking at one of the bubbles floating by while Don started filling the tub with warm water. “I guess Mikey uses soap like he uses his paints. Did you see his room last week? There was pink _everywhere._ ”

Leo hadn’t been there to see the actual accident, he had only seen the aftermath. Don turned to look at him, a small smirk on his lips. Apparently Leo hadn’t noticed the pink on Raph’s shell before Mikey painted over it; otherwise the turtle in blue would’ve already teased their brother about it.

“What?” Leo asked as soon as he noticed the smirk. “What do you know that I don’t?”

“You missed the opportunity to see Raph with a pink shell.”

“ _What?_ ” Leo groaned in misery. “How could I miss that?! Man, the jokes I could’ve made..!”

Don felt relieved for Raph. One could only take so much of Leo’s jokes.

Donatello turned back to the tub, closing the faucet. When Leonardo came closer to test the temperature of the water, he was still holding his sword over his shoulder, the blade resting against the upper lip of his shell. Don rolled his eyes at him.

“Really? You couldn’t leave the sword outside?”

They all had the habit of carrying their weapons with them, but that was because they didn’t get on the way. Mikey’s were small enough to easily carry on his belt, Raph’s weapons weren’t exactly small but they were easy for him to carry, and Don’s bo could easily be withdrawn into a smaller piece. Leo’s sword was definitely the most noticeable and impractical to carry around, yet he did so anyways. At the lair he put it down more often, but apparently now wasn’t one of those times. At least he wasn’t going to bathe with it, since he was setting it aside, but Don wouldn’t really have been surprised if Leo had decided to do just that.

“Leave it outside? So that Mikey could try to mess with it? No thanksies.”

They didn’t take each other’s stuff without permission – at least not too often. But the magical weapons were still pretty new to them, and anything new in the lair got the turtles curious, no matter who owned the thing. Mikey had already needed to save his kusari-fundo from Don’s curiosity, but how could he blame the genius? Of course he had wanted to see if the maniacal weapon truly was alive, and that had meant some testing- 

Leo slid into the tub, some of the water pouring over the edge. Don turned to grab some soap, having to toss a few empty bottles aside before he found a full one.

It had been some time since they had had the time to clean each other’s shells. With the new weapons and new mutants showing up they had been a bit busy, and whenever they had their free-time, they weren’t really planning on using it on cleaning. The condition of Leo’s shell really varied; the turtle in blue liked to keep it clean, avoiding all the icky stuff on their missions. But the turtle in question did have a habit of falling down, so his shell getting dirty was unavoidable. Either way, the turtle liked keeping his shell in top-condition, being the one who most often asked someone’s help reaching the spots he couldn’t.

Don’s own shell didn’t need to be cleaned as often, being usually hidden under the Battleshell. But he did sometimes need help with applying the protective oil over it; the Battleshell had been designed to be as light as it could be, but it still placed pressure on his shell. His shoulders took most of the weight, but he had to take care in protecting his already sensitive shell.

Don poured some of the warm water over Leo’s carapace, and Leo leaned back, sighing contently. “Want me to do yours next? It feels so nice to be pampered.”

“You’re not being pampered,” Don said. “You and Raph are going to clean this mess.”

“What?” Leo glanced over his shoulder, acting shocked. “Why us? Why _me?_ ”

“Because me and Mikey are doing all the work cleaning your shells,” Don said, poking Leo’s cheek to make him face forward again. “As I said, you’re not being pampered.”

Leo huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “But I just offered to clean yours.”

“I don’t think we have enough soap for that,” Don said, shaking the almost-empty bottle in his hands. “Guess we’ll gotta get more before that.”

“Great. Right after getting my shell clean we have to go topside.”

“It would stay clean if you didn’t fall over so much,” Don said with a small smirk, gaining a glare for that.

Don slid the sponge over the upper part of Leo’s shell, when his hand suddenly paused. He leaned a bit closer, wiping off some of the soapy-foam to see the surface of his shell better. There, next to his shoulder on his carapace, were a lot of nicks. Some of them were barely visible, some of them deeper, almost like something had been heavily jabbed against the shell. They all had some scars, especially on their shells, since the shell usually took most damage in a fight, or softened a fall, or just scraped against something. But none of them had such a specific spot where marks had gathered – where had Leo gotten these? These weren’t from a fight, and definitely weren’t from falling over.

“Don?” Leo questioned, since Don’s hand had stopped moving. “Don’t tell me we _already_ ran out of soap.”

Don ran a finger over one of the deepest nicks, causing Leo to flinch. Touching small scars and nicks didn’t usually hurt, but apparently this one was deep enough to cause discomfort when touched.

“Hey, what was that for?” Leo demanded, glancing over his shoulder, lifting his hand to rub the part Don had just touched, his hand on the spot where he usually held his sword-

And Don realized where the marks were from. He glanced to the side, where Leo’s ōdachi lay against the wall, where Leo had left it. The sword was heavy, and the blade was sharp. Don hadn’t yet found anything it couldn’t cut. And with how often Leo placed the sharp blade against the edge of his shell, it wouldn’t be surprising if the blade had left scrapes. Even if Leo placed it down gently, its weight would still cause it to land heavily on the shell. How had Leo not noticed? Or… had he?

“Leo?” Don’s voice was careful. Leo and Mikey shared a similar trait; they complained about the little things. Mikey complained when a video he was watching lagged even slightly, Leo complained if some of the sewer water splashed even slightly on him. A completely perfect reason to complain, but Leo did it even if only a _droplet_ hit him. So, for these marks to appear on his well-kept shell? What would Leo think? Should he just not say anything?

Leo craned his neck even further back to look at him, and Don looked back with an uncertain expression. Seeing that made Leo turn properly towards him, turning his shell and the marks away from Don in the process. “Hey. What is it?” Leo asked with a softer voice, sounding concerned now.

“Those marks.”

Leo looked confused, but realization quickly settled over his face. So he had noticed the marks, just hadn’t complained about them like he complained about everything else. Not only had he not complained, Leo hadn’t said _anything_ about them.

“Oh, they’re that noticeable?” Leo chuckled, like he didn’t really care. But Don had seen the hesitation on his face, and noticed how his shoulder slumped. “Pretty embarrassing, right? Can’t wield a sword without scraping my own shell with it.”

Embarrassing was not the word on Don’s mind, but he didn’t get to say anything before Leo continued. “It always felt pretty heavy, but I didn’t know it left marks. Not before the first time it hurt.”

“Just stop holding it like that,” Don said, frowning at his brother.

“Dude, are you kidding? I look awesome holding it like that.” Leo leaned against the railing of the tub, flexing the arm he usually used to hold the sword, turning his head enough to show Don his trademark grin.

Don stared, unimpressed, not buying it. The marks weren’t that noticeable, but Don knew his brother, and could tell that Leo was upset with them. Leo’s smile faded under his gaze, and he sighed.

“Well… it’s not like it matters anymore, right? The marks are already there.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter if I get a few new ones.”

“Of course it matters.” Don continued scrubbing Leo’s shell, careful to not touch the newest marks. “We’re going to adjust your shoulder strap so that the blade rests on it, not on your shell. It’s what you should’ve done in the first place, instead of just glooming about this alone.”

“I wasn’t…” Leo started, but gave up, knowing that Don was right. He had just been embarrassed, but should’ve known that his brothers would notice sooner or later.

“And we can use the oil I use on my own shell. It should help some of these fade.”

“They can fade?”

“Yeah. They look more like scratches, most of them haven’t actually broken the surface.”

Meaning that _some_ of them were permanent. Leo shrugged, leaning back, lifting his legs up on the edge of the tub. “I guess coolness has its price.”

Don groaned. “I do not understand how one moment you’re sulking and the second you’re the smuggest person alive.”

“It’s a talent, buddy,” Leo grinned.

“A flaw, more likely. Also, don’t lean back. It _kind_ of goes against what we’re doing here when I can’t reach your shell _at all._ ”

“Sorry,” Leo said without sounding sorry. He leaned back forward, and Don was able to continue his work.

When they emerged the bathroom, Leo with a towel on his shoulders and Don with the empty soap bottles, they heard Mikey and Raph conversing.

“What? I had pink on my shell?!”

That immediately got Leo’s attention, and the sly turtle sneaked towards the living room. Here was his missed chance to tease Raph about the pink shell!

Just when he got closer Raph continued. “Why didn’t you tell me? I had painted spikes? That must’ve looked rad!”

“They were pink, Raph.”

“So? Jupiter Jim’s space suit was pink in _Last Trip to the Moon #48!_ ”

Both Leo and Mikey groaned. Leo hadn’t thought that Raph would like the idea of pink on his shell, his chance to crack some sick jokes now gone. Mikey wouldn’t have spent so much time painting over the pink if he had known that Raph wouldn’t have minded.

Well, he still had some of that pink left…

“Repaint time! Let’s get the brushes!” Mikey jumped up, but Don was quickly blocking his way.

“You just used,” he looked down to his hands, still holding the soap bottles, “ _four_ bottles to wash his shell. You are not painting it again! We can’t afford all this soap to wash it off!”

“But Don!” Mikey pouted, but then his face light up. “Oh, but _your_ shell hasn’t been cleaned yet. Meaning...”

Don took a step back. “No, don’t even think about using my shell as a canvas.”

“Leo, you’ll get to paint too if you help,” Mikey promised, immediately gaining an ally.

“Come on, Don,” Leo smirked. “It’s just paint.”

 

* * *

 

Leo stared at the red on his fingers. Hadn’t it been just yesterday when it was paint that coated his fingers, not blood? He knew it had been longer than that, back when his biggest worries had been about a few scratches on his shell. He couldn’t help giving a choked laugh at how different everything had been back then. How much things had changed in just a few years. He had been miserable over a few scratches, and now he barely batted an eye at getting a new scar.

The biggest one he carried was from Baron Draxum’s claws. Leo could still remember Raph cradling him on his arms, telling him to stay with them, but he hadn’t been worried. Ever since that conversation with Donatello he hadn’t been worried about scars, knowing that Don would help him take care of them. Don had told him how he sometimes regretted that discussion; how maybe Leo wouldn’t be so reckless if he still cared so much about his shell getting scraped.

Leo hadn’t regretted it for a moment. He was proud of the marks; they were proof of their victories, proof of their invincibility. His shell was tough; nothing would get through it, nothing would get through him.

That’s why the warm liquid on his fingers confused him so; they had been invincible. He had always been able to protect his brothers, had taken scars in their stead. Why had he been unable to do so now? Why was Donnie’s Battleshell on the ground in a broken heap, while Don lay still on his arms?

His fingers spread the red, and for a moment it was just paint, something he’d later wash away. His finger followed a trail on Don’s shell. Here, he had painted right here, only scribbles next to Mikey’s talented designs. It still felt like just yesterday.

“Come on, Don,” Leo whispered, his voice cracking. “It’s just paint.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kerolunaticat made some amazing art of this chapter, find it here http://kerolunaticat.tumblr.com/post/178983037613/yeah-well-i-couldnt-stop-myself-after  
> Go check out their incredible art and give them lots of love!!


	3. Until they didn't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The previous versions of Leo are like old memories to the Leo now. He remembers bits and pieces, like snippets of past lives, hazy, fading, but he remembers. Sometimes the images, feelings, are clearer, sometimes he can barely grasp them. This life has given him a different chance, a different role. Sometimes it feels like his place, sometimes it doesn’t.
> 
> Chapter 3 prompts - Emotions (this is a prompt from week 3 so I’m cheating), trick, battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is confusing, I still have one more chapter in the works and I just don't have the time to work on these for as long as I'd like to. Thanks for reading!

“Ready to see the coolest portal-skateboarding trick ever?”

Leo spinned his ōdachi sword skillfully in his hands, having gotten pretty good at using only one sword instead of two. He’s handled different weapons, in  _ the past,  _ but two swords has been his thing for a long, long time. The weight and the length of the long weapon had been fairly easy to get used to, and now that he was finally able to create proper portals Leo was sure he had mastered the weapon. Learning to control, or even create the portals, had taken him some time, but now he handled the sword confidently. 

“Well, it’ll be the first portal-skateboarding trick I’ll be seeing… but yes!” 

Mikey, always the light of the family, was his audience, and the youngest looked excited, only lifting Leo’s good mood. He had only done the trick a few times before, but was determined to impress his brother. They were standing on top of the skateboard ramp, and Leo lifted his sword, swinging it to create the first portal. He placed one leg on top of his skateboard, giving Mikey a smile before kicking the skateboard into action, disappearing inside the portal.

The moment Leo appeared from a new portal he swung his sword, creating a new one, making it look like he skateboarded down the ramp. Only the skateboard never touched the ground, the portals carrying him forward, all the way up to the other side of the ramp. Once there he made a few flips just to show off, briefly glancing towards Mikey to see his reaction, delighted that his brother was jumping up and down as he cheered for him. Leo grinned as he made another portal, making his way back to the side where he had started from. The moment his feet touched the ground again he kicked the skateboard up into his hands, grinning widely at Mikey.

“Leo! That was awesome!” Mikey jumped next to him, their hands meeting for a high-three. “It looked like you were floating!”

“I know, I know,” Leo hummed, leaning against his sword. Creating so many portals so fast had taken its toll, but Leo wasn’t about to show that. He felt out of breath, but played it cool. “But thank you.”

“Think I could try it?” Mikey surprised him with the question. “I mean, obviously I can’t make portals, but if you’d make them and I’d skateboard through them? It looked so fun!”

Huh. It wouldn’t be the easiest thing to do, suddenly aiming the portals for someone else. Leo hadn’t always been fast enough to create the next portal for himself, having sent himself down on his face a few times. But he had succeeded just now, hadn’t he? He was ready to try this, but maybe he should take a short break at least. He felt a bit lightheaded, but when he looked at Mikey again he was met with such wide, excited eyes that he couldn’t consider denying the fun for him. He’d be a horrible big brother if he didn’t let Mikey do something like this – the trick didn’t just look cool, it was super fun to stay in the air for so long! 

Leo glanced down the ramp, and shrugged.

“Okay, sure. Let’s do this!”

Leo slid down the ramp to the floor, where he could easily point his sword to every part of the ramp. Mikey positioned himself on the top, giving Leo a thumbs-up, which the sword-wielder returned. Show-time!

The first portals came without trouble, their positioning being perfect. Mikey glided through them, and Leo had to admit that it looked even cooler when you were watching it from the side. Mikey was almost to the other side of the ramp when Leo could feel his hands start shaking, and it was starting to get harder to keep up with the needed tempo to create the portals. He realized he wouldn’t be able to keep this up, and felt his chest ache as he realized how long Mikey’s fall would be if he failed to create the next, last portal. He forced himself to steady his hands, but exhaustion washed over him and he lost his footing. Unfortunately his skateboard was right there, sliding under his feet when he stumbled on it.

In an instant his balance was lost, and the ōdachi slipped from his hands as he fell. His shell connected with the floor, and dread pooled in his stomach as he opened his eyes to see the ramp. In his upside down position he saw that he had somehow managed to create the last portal, and it looked like Mikey would be landing safely on the tallest part of the ramp. But the portal he was currently coming through suddenly let out a loud hiss, disappearing sooner than it should have. The portals usually closed slowly, closing in on themselves sluggishly, but this one shut itself without a warning. Leo’s eyes widened as the ends of Mikey’s mask got caught in the closing portal, cutting through the cloth in a sharp flash, the shredded ends lost in the closed portal.

Mikey hadn’t even noticed, swiftly landing on the top of the ramp, loudly cheering again. Leo felt paralyzed as he lay on the ground, only now daring to draw in a ragged breath.

The image of the portal closing a bit sooner, while Mikey hadn’t yet been fully out invaded his mind.  

He had never felt so sick.

 

* * *

 

Leo was driving himself crazy trying to figure out what had gone so wrong with the portal.

He dreaded creating them now, but knew he couldn’t just stop using them. He had finally learned how to handle his new skill, and now he was too afraid to use it. He’d have to figure this out or he’d be useless in a fight, just like in the beginning, when sometimes a portal had came out, sometimes it hadn’t. He’d have to be reliable in a fight, not the guy who ‘was sometimes able to create a portal.’ No, he was the guy who was supposed to always be able to create a portal! A portal that didn’t try to cut someone in half. Leo shuddered at the thought, holding his ōdachi with a tight grip, frowning as he looked down at his weapon. This hadn’t happened before. When the portal had abruptly closed, it had been after he had lost his grip on the sword. Was that the cause?

It was Donnie’s area to test a theory out, but this time it was Leo who had some testing to do. An apple was retrieved from the kitchen, and with great hesitance Leo lifted his sword, cutting the air to create a portal. Something that had made him so proud before was now menacing as it hovered in the air in front of him. The apple was tossed in. 

When the portal where the apple was supposed to emerge from appeared Leo let go of the sword. The apple was just peeking out of the portal when it closed, just as suddenly and dangerously as with Mikey earlier. The portal sliced the apple neatly in two, the other half falling down onto the floor.

And Leo stared in shock, the horrifying feeling he had felt when he had seen Mikey’s cut mask returning, now only so much stronger when he had proof that it could’ve really happened. That apple could’ve been a hand, or a leg, or-

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Not here, not  _ this  _ time. He was happy here. Not like he hadn’t been before, but it was different this time. He was supposed to be free of these thoughts, he wasn’t supposed to be worrying. His fears consisted of losing the last slice of pizza, of getting his high-scores beaten, not of a brother getting hurt, getting hurt because of something he did-

Was it a punishment? For laying down the responsibility? It hadn’t been his choice. This was how things just were. Had he been supposed to change it? Had he been selfish to adjust to this role?

He looked down at the sword still lying on the floor. Lifting it up now felt like taking back the responsibilities of the past, the weight something he didn’t know how to handle.

Leo didn’t want to pick it up.

So he didn’t.    
  


* * *

 

 

“Guys, what’s taking you so long?”

Raph was impatiently tapping his foot against the floor, waiting for his team to be ready. This was the fourth time he was calling for them, and if they didn’t get here soon so that they could leave, he’d just go and pick up all of them. Wouldn’t be the first time he’d done that. 

“Don-”

“Don’t yell, I’m right here.”

“Mik-”

“Coming, coming!”

“Leo!”

It took a moment, but finally Leo was there too, and they were ready to go. At least Raph had thought they were.

“Leo, you’re leaving without your sword?”

Mikey’s question made Raph stop as the brothers turned to looked at Leo, who indeed, did not have his sword.

“Uh, yeah? It’s not like we get into a fight every time we go out.”

The rest of them stared at Leo like he had just said the stupidest thing ever. Leo sighed.

“Right… we  _ do _ always get in a fight. Fine, I’ll go grab something.”

“Something? Why not your sword?” Raph lifted a brow at his brother’s behavior. Leo was usually more than eager to carry his sword around. He liked showing the thing off.

“Geez, can’t a guy want some change every now and then?” Leo rolled his eyes.

“Not you,” Don joined the conversation. “Not when you’ve done nothing but bragged about your portals for the last few weeks. Don’t tell me you’re having trouble with them again…”

“Wh- no, I’m not!” Leo immediately denied the accusation, feeling slightly hurt at the way Don had said it. “I just… I, uh… I… lost it?”

Leo facepalmed himself mentally. Why did his pride get on the way of everything? He definitely was having trouble with the portals. Why couldn’t he just admit it?

But it  _ had  _ hurt. Don thought he was still having trouble with the portals- but he wasn’t! At least he hadn’t supposed to be. He had learned, had worked hard to learn, and now he couldn’t use them because… because the risk wasn’t worth taking. All he had learned was for nothing. 

“You- lost it? How do you  _ lose  _ a five-feet long sword?” Raph sounded confused, clearly trying to work his mind to figure out how that was possible, while Don only looked at Leo with unbelieving eyes. Mikey had disappeared from the scene, and Leo only shrugged.

“These things happen! Remember when Donnie lost that remote-controlled helicopter? It definitely weighted more than my sword-”

“It did  _ not  _ weight more, and it was taken by the wind. I doubt that your sword was.”

“No worries, guys! I found it!”

Mikey was back, carrying Leo’s sword in his hands. Leo’s shoulders slumped when he saw the weapon, and when it was offered to him he had to force himself to take it.

He lifted the sword, but ignored the weight. Not yet.

Not yet.

Raph led them out of the lair, as usual, and Leo followed behind, the ōdachi a heavy weight against his shoulder. Maybe they wouldn’t run into any trouble tonight. Maybe this would be their,  _ his, _ lucky break.

No such luck. It didn’t take them even half an hour before they had their weapons aimed at Meat Sweats. How did they manage to find a cage full of small mutants when they had just been trying to get some pizza? Perhaps they had taken a wrong turn at some point...

Leonardo dodged the flames that were breathed into his direction, feeling the heat on his neck. That had been a close one, even though the flames hadn’t even been fully aimed at him. The range of the fire was unfairly large, the heat trying to swallow everything in front of it.   
  
“Raph! He’s coming your way!” Mikey yelled out a warning, already running after the pig mutant responsible for the chaos of flames around them. Apparently Meat Sweats had found a mutant who could breathe fire- whether this or spitting venom was worse, Leo wasn’t quite sure yet. He just knew that he didn’t like either one of the abilities.

More flames shot at them, and this time Raph wasn’t fast enough to get out of the way. But thanks to Mikey’s warning his shield was up, saving him from bad burns. He still felt the heat through the strong barrier, and looked around to locate Leo. This was impossible- they couldn’t get close when they had to constantly run away from the flames. Luckily they had a turtle who could chance that.

“Leo!” Raph called for his brother, dodging another flame as he ran closer to the sword-wielding turtle. “Make a portal behind him so that I can get close!”

Leo paled, but his brother had no time to pay attention to that. More fire came at them, and Raph grunted as he jumped out of the way, managing to grab Leo and drag him out of the way as well. 

“Hey, get your head in the game unless you want to get a nice, crispy tan!”

Meat Sweats jumped through the sea of flames, landing near the two turtles. His mutant ability wasn’t the only thing Meat Sweats had  – his hammer was already raised above his head, ready to strike at the turtles. Leo lifted his arms up to shield himself from the attack he knew was coming, but the hammer never made contact with him. When he opened his eyes he saw Raph in front of him, holding Meat Sweats back with his shield.

The pig mutant was bigger, and the hammer managed to shatter the barrier, forcing the larger turtle back. Raph glanced over his shoulder at Leo, frowning at him.

“You have a sword, why were you trying to defend yourself with your  _ hands? _ ”

Leo didn’t get the chance to answer when Meat Sweats was close again. Raph grunted; he wouldn’t have the time to create another shield fast enough. Before Meat Sweats could bring his hammer down again Mikey’s kusari-fundo wrapped around his arm, and Don’s bo-staff slammed against the back of the pig’s knees. Meat Sweats was still too huge to go down from their attempts, and he turned his head to grin at them. They were all close now, and the turtles realized their mistake. 

All four of them scrambled to run away from the bursting flames, feeling the heat lick the backs of their legs as they ran. Raph had his shield up again and protected himself and Don with it, while Leo threw himself behind the nearest dumpster. Mikey managed to escape the fire, but the side of the closest building had caught on fire, debris falling down and trapping the turtle in the middle of the flames. Mikey backed away from the intense heat, but there wasn’t really anywhere to go when the fire raged all around him.

“Mikey!” Donnie called, his staff already changing form to a fire extinguisher. “Hang on!”

But before he could get another step closer, more flames were breathed between him and the trapped brother. Don aimed the extinguisher at the flames, but the fire had gotten out of control and a single fire extinguisher didn’t do much.

“Are you crazy? You’re going to burn the whole street down!” Raph yelled at the fire-spitting mutant, who didn’t seem to really care. The situation had spiraled out of control really fast.

“Guys! I… I can’t find a way out of here!” Mikey called out from the middle of the flames.

“Use a portal!” Raph commanded as he, once more, grabbed Leo’s arm and tugged him out of the way of the fire. “And seriously, start looking around! What’s up with you today?”

Leo stared towards the fire Mikey was trapped in, seeming paralyzed as he held his sword close to his body. Raph punched his shoulder to get his attention, and Leo looked at him with wide eyes. “Leo! Get a grip and make a portal!”

“But-”

“Make. A. Portal!”

“Leo, he’s going to burn alive unless you make that portal,” Don deadpanned, the harsh but true words finally snapping him out of it. Leo gripped the hilt of the sword tightly, and a crackling, blue portal appeared in front of him. He jumped in.

The heat that met him on the other side of the portal stole Leo’s breath. He had been here for only a few seconds, yet the heat was almost unbearable, and Mikey was here, surrounded by the choking smoke- Leo was almost startled when Mikey’s arms wrapped around him, the youngest clinging to him tightly.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Leo soothed him, patting the back of Mikey’s shell. “I’m here. We’ll be out in a flash!”

Mikey nodded against his plastron, and when he lifted his gaze Leo could see some of his worry disappear. Leo’s heart ached; Mikey felt better now that he was here, trusting that Leo was here to get him out. Not knowing that Leo could just as easily do the exact  _ opposite  _ with his dangerous portal. He hesitated as he lifted his sword, but the fire around them forced him to swing it. The situation demanded him to take the risk; they’d burn alive otherwise. Just like Don had helpfully pointed out.

The familiar portal appeared, but before the turtles could do anything it was already disappearing. Leo blinked, not having expected the portal to disappear  _ that  _ fast, but tried again. Now the portal snapped shut even faster. 

He couldn’t understand. He was gripping the sword with both hands, definitely holding it, yet the portals were disappearing. Mikey coughed next to him as the smoke got thicker around them.

The sword cut the air once more, but the results were no different.

“Leo.” Mikey’s voice was small. “It’s okay, making those portals must be difficult. Don’t feel bad!”

Don’t feel bad? Don’t feel bad about failing at the thing you were supposed to be the best at. Don’t feel bad about not being able to save your brother. Oh, he definitely didn’t feel bad. He felt  _ awful. _ Mikey was trying to cheer him, but his words only hurt more. He wanted Mikey cheering on him when he was showing off, not when he was being pathetic. It was just like that time in the maze – Leo failing and giving up, and his brothers having to snap him out of it. Mikey was being more careful with his words this time, and realizing that made the ache in his chest get worse. He wasn’t yelling at him to make a portal like last time because he  _ pitied  _ him. After all this time  _ poor Leo _ was still struggling with his portals, and he didn’t want to hurt his emotions, even when they were in the middle of deadly flames where yelling at him was definitely what Mikey should’ve been doing.

So was this it? Was this the part where the anxiety that had slowly been building up inside of him took over? Leo didn’t think about these things. Not this time, not in this life. He didn’t think of the “what-ifs,” he went with the flow. It was his  _ thing, _ jump in and see where it took you. Sure he panicked when things didn’t go their way, he could get clumsy and screw things up, but in the end it always worked out. Was this the time when it didn’t? Maybe he was supposed to stop depending on the thought that things would sort themselves out. 

Maybe he should’ve expected it. That this wouldn’t last. Maybe this was the time to go back.

A forced calm washed over him, and this time the portal appeared easily, wavering a little, but it wasn’t disappearing. He grabbed Mikey, and together they jumped through the portal. It didn’t snap shut behind them, instead closing the way it should.

Raph and Don looked exhausted, but relieved when they saw their brothers appearing. Meat Sweats was still standing, and Leo felt emotionally exhausted, not looking forward to jumping back into the fight. Mikey was leaning heavily against him, the heat having taken a lot out of him. Leo gripped his sword, now feeling the responsibility settling on his shoulders, standing at ready- 

The sky suddenly roared with thunder, causing Mikey to yelp and jump up into Leo’s arms. Cold droplets started to rain down on them, and Meat Sweats groaned audibly when he looked up to the clouds. He seemed to realize his disadvantage now that the rain had made his new fire-ability useless.   
  
“Meddlesome turtles! This was the last time you made me lose my meal,” Meat Sweats threatened, looking at the empty cage which had previously stored his meal, every mutant once captured now freed by the turtles. “Next time you’ll be on the list. Your shells will make some delicious jelly.”   
  
Meat Sweats disappeared into the nearest alleyway, and they could hear his van starting. The Turtle Tank wasn’t here, parked near the lair, all nicely out of the rain, so there was no point giving chase.   
  
“Our shells? Why would he want to eat our shells?” Mikey pondered, still on Leo’s arms. “Isn’t that the part you  _ don’t  _ want to eat?”

The youngest expected a joke or a witty remark. Instead he got a serious, emotionless glance.

Saying nothing was  _ so _ not like Leo that Mikey had to squint his eyes at him, had to wonder what was going through his brother’s mind. Leo let him down from his arms and made sure he was alright before going to check on Raph and Don, not giving Mikey the time to ask questions. Mikey could only stare after him with a deep frown.   
  


* * *

 

 

That frown appeared on Mikey’s face more than often during the next few days.

Leo was acting totally different. Spending less time playing games and hanging out with the rest of the family, focusing more on taking care of the plants in his room, actually training more than what little Splinter daily required of them. He was distant.

Mikey wasn’t the only one who had noticed, but seemed to be the only one who cared.

“I’m telling you, Raph! He’s acting totally different! It’s scary!”

“He is,” Raph agreed, “but he hasn’t been so reckless lately. It’s a good change.”

Of course Raph would think that, always worrying about them. If one of them calmed down a little, it was easier for him to look after them. Mikey still wasn’t pleased. Seeing Leo like this wasn’t right.

“Please, Donnie, tell me you’ve noticed it too! Leo’s acting so weird!”

“Oh, I’m glad you brought it up,” Don said, and Mikey felt his hopes getting up. “It has been  _ so _ peaceful lately. He hasn’t bothered me at all, isn’t that great?”

Aand of course Don would react this way. He and Leo had some kind of tension between them, and Mikey crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. 

It was so clear how differently Leo acted now. Rarely loud, more serious. There were times when Mikey could see that Leo was aching to make a joke, when he wanted to make a comment on something, but simply didn’t. 

And finally Mikey decided to take matters into his own hands.

“Leo,” he started the next time they were alone, cleaning the living-room together. “What’s bothering you? Don’t try to say it’s nothing; you’re acting so different, it’s like I barely know you anymore! After that fight-”

“Mikey,” Leo answered hastily, turning to look at his brother, and Mikey had to blink at him. Leo had been so stone-faced for the past few days that it was actually surprising to see some kind of emotion on his face. “I don’t want to.”

Mikey stared before talking again. “You don’t want to?”

“Maybe I’m supposed to, but… I just… I thought...” Leo sighed and sat down, and Mikey sat down next to him, confused by his words. Leo glanced at him, overwhelmed by the need to tell him about the memories, how he mostly barely even thought about them, but how they had haunted him lately. But he knew he couldn’t. “It’s… the portal.”

Yeah, the portal. Nothing else. Just the portal.

“When I’m... afraid, or unsure, the portals turn… awful. It’s like they react to what I’m  _ feeling. _ ” It wasn't far from the truth. In fact, it was the truth. It had started when he had felt scared of letting  Mikey down, of letting him fall from the ramp. “But if I have it all under control, then the portals are stable.” Because he had always  _ been  _ in control, obviously he had to be  _ now  _ as well. “And I thought- if I’d get serious they’d be under my control and there would be no risk of-”

“Of giving my mask a little trimming,” Mikey finished for him.  Leo glanced at him, sighing again. He should’ve known that Mikey had noticed it after all. But why hadn’t he said anything? 

“Weren’t you scared?” Leo asked quietly. “I could’ve… I could’ve…”

“Bro, if it hadn’t happened, how would you have learned about this feelings-make-portals-different thing? Now you know how it works and you can use it to your advantage! Remember when that one mutant followed us through one of our portals? Now you can prevent that from happening!”

“Oh, yeah.” Leo gave Mikey a look. “Now I can just cut them in half.”

Mikey realized the mistake in his words, and chuckled sheepishly. “You know that’s not what I meant…”

Leo smiled at him, but it faltered quickly. “I don’t know, Mikey. It could happen again, and I…”

“If it reacts to your feelings, then this serious-thing is obviously what you should not be doing.” Mikey gave Leo a firm look. “The portals never got messed up when you actually acted like you, only when you felt scared or unsure. And those things aren’t you!”

That was so far from the truth. Or was it? Was it stupid to think that he was punished for being someone else for a change? But he wasn’t, not really, he was just… happier. Was it so wrong? 

Had he been wrong, were the portals really just reacting to his emotions? Was the past not coming after him, after all?

Leo leaned back against the couch they were sitting on. 

“Am I allowed to go back to being me?”

Which me, he wasn’t sure.

“ _ Please _ go back to being you,” Mikey pleaded. He only knew this Leo, missed this Leo, didn’t know the other ones. Would he prefer them, if he knew them? Mikey leaned against his brother, and Leo wrapped an arm around him. 

He’d go back and let go of the strange memories. His curiosity had kept the fractions of memories anchored to him, but now he was allowing them to fade. He was who he was, and the ghosts would have to step back.

“Wanna skate?” Mikey’s voice brought from his thoughts. “I didn’t complete that portal trick, you know.”

Leo barely even hesitated before grinning at his brother. 

“Bet your shell I do.”

Somewhere, sometime else Leo might’ve been setting a different example, doing more than he could do now. He wasn’t even setting an example in the way Raph was, being kind and protective, nor Don, always being reliable and helping Mikey with anything, but he knew he could do  _ this. _ Could take Mikey’s hand as he helped him up to the ramp, could make his eyes shine as he looked up to his big brother. It was enough. He was enough.

The sword wasn’t so heavy when he lifted it, not today. Maybe it’d be heavier tomorrow, maybe it’d never be. But as always, things had worked out. They’d continue to work out.

They always did.   
  


* * *

 

 

Don was ignoring the cheers coming from the skateboard ramp, entering the kitchen. 

“Hey, Raph?”

“Yeah?”

The eldest had just opened a pack of fresh cupcakes, but turned to look at the brother now standing by the kitchen entrance.

“Did you know that Leo’s skateboarding?”

“Uh… yes?”

That was almost a daily happening, and Raph had to squint his eyes at Don. Was he feeling alright? It wasn’t like him to be stating something  _ this  _ obvious. Then again, Leo hadn’t been skating in a while, and what Mikey had said had stuck with both of them. Something had been bothering Leo, but it looked like he was back to his usual self, and Raph couldn’t help feeling glad. Sure it had been nice to get some peace and quiet, but this was how things were supposed to be.

“Were you aware that he’s doing it while swinging his sword around?”

Now that got Raph’s full attention.

“What?!”

“Yeah. Saw him trip and almost impale himself with it, but they just laughed it off-”

Raph was up and rushing past Don so fast that the genius had to jump out of his way. He followed after him lazily, watching the chaos as Raph chased Leo and Mikey down. 

“Leo, you’re being bad influence on Mikey, doing something this dangerous!” Raph bellowed at the turtle he was trying to catch.

“Bleh, go away, Raph! I’m the best kind of influence there is!”

Leo disappeared into a portal with a giggling Mikey, leaving a frustrated Raph behind. Maybe he was bad influence, after all. But then he could just turn to look at Mikey and tell with his best big brother voice,

“Mikey, do what I say, don’t do what I do.”

But then again, where would the fun in that be? 


	4. Holding on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don's having trouble with his Battleshell. 
> 
> Chapter 4 prompt - Fear

“Alright, I think we lost them,” Raph breathed out in relief, leaning against the wall they were hiding behind. “Those little guys are way too fast.”

“Yeah, yeah they are,” Leo agreed, still slightly out of breath, peeking over the corner to see if they were still being chased by the group of Mutant Silverfish. “And we wouldn’t have to be running from them if _someone_ didn’t keep smashing them and creating _more._ ”

“What else am I supposed to do? Besides, they pop so easily-”

An electric crackle followed by Don’s yelp cut off their banter. Donatello shook his head to recover from the shock, then craned his neck in an attempt to see over his shoulder. He was trying to get a look at his Battleshell, which had some wires sprouting out from the side.

“Take it off, Donnie,” Mikey pleaded worriedly, looking at the damaged shell with a tilted head. One of the bigger mutants had managed to hit and tear the casing of the Battleshell, and this wasn’t the first time the malfunctioning shell gave Don a shock. The damage wasn’t big, but it had been enough to tear out some wires, which were now occasionally sending electric jolts to their owner.

“Oh, and just leave it here?” Don rolled his eyes. “I’ll fix it once we get ho- _yaugh!_ ”

Another shock left Don’s limbs tingling and his mood plummeting. He didn’t even know how the mutant that had attacked him had managed to get through the casing of his Battleshell, and that annoyed him more than the electric shocks. If he didn’t know what had caused the damage, how could he improve the shell to sustain it?

“Well, now you know how I felt with that collar you made me,” Leo teased.

“For the last time, the collar was supposed to-”

Another shock made Don let out a high yelp. This one lasted a few seconds longer than some of the earlier ones, and the rest of the brothers glanced at each other, looking worried.

“Okay, let’s vote! Who thinks that Don should take that thing off?” Leo raised his hand, and Mikey and Raph quickly followed. Donatello placed his hands on his hips, giving his brothers a dry glare.

“Look, I’m not going to-”

“Are you afraid of taking it off?”

Don blinked at the sudden question, then frowned. He knew protecting his shell was necessary, but he wasn’t _scared_ without the protection. He huffed at the accusation.

“What? Of course not. Fine. Against all logic I’ll take it off and carry it in my _hands,_ even though it’d be so much more efficient to carry it on my back as _intended._ ”

“Yeah, cause there’s so much logic in getting constantly electrocuted…” Mikey whispered to Raph and Leo.

With a hiss the locks that kept the Battleshell in place opened, and apparently the hover-trait had been taken out of commission as well since the shell ended up falling on the ground. Don groaned, turning around to properly inspect the damage. As he kneeled down his brothers got a good view of Don’s own shell, the soft surface now completely exposed. Nothing unusual about seeing it when they were at the lair, but they weren’t home now, and Don was never allowed to leave the lair without his Battleshell.

“I can carry it for you,” Raph offered, just to get them back home faster. Before Don could answer their attention was taken by the familiar hisses of the Mutant Silverfish. The sounds were coming closer, and the three turtles suddenly panicked.

“No, no, change of plans, the shell goes back on!” Raph kneeled down next to Don, grabbing the Battleshell so that he could put it back where it belonged. Don frowned at him.

“What- try to make a decision and then stick to it,” Don said dryly. “I’m not putting it back on, I just took it off-”

“Put. It. On!”

“Fine, fine! Pushy...” Donnie stood up, turning his back to Raph so that he could place the Battleshell against Don’s back. Raph hurried to do just that, carefully covering Don’s shell with the sturdier one. He had helped Don with the Battleshell before, all of them had, so he knew where the locks had to go, knew how to position it properly so that the locks could automatically attach to Don’s shell. But the familiar hiss of the mechanics working didn’t come, so Raph pressed it against Don a bit harder in his urgency.

“Hey- pushing me over with it definitely isn’t going to help,” Don complained as Raph pressed against his sensitive back. “Just put it in place, you’ve done this before-”

“I am! But it isn’t attaching to you!”

“Um, guys, I think our break is over,” Mikey piped up, looking back to the street with Leo. “They’re coming this way!”

“Hmm. The damage must’ve affected the locks as well…” Don tapped his chin, thoughtful, when a hand suddenly snaked around his waist, lifting him up from the ground. He yelped at the sudden treatment, and struggled in Raph’s hold.

“Raph! I can _very_ well walk on my own!”

“No time! Run, guys!”

Raph glanced over his shoulder, making sure that Leo and Mikey were right behind them. Unfortunately so were the Silverfish.

They ran through the streets, trying to pick difficult routes and sudden turns to lose the mutants, but they were stubbornly running after them. Don had given up on trying to get out of big brother’s hold, and was only yelling out directions for Raph.

“Left there- _left,_ I said! Left!”

But this area wasn’t too familiar to them, and soon they found themselves in a dead-end. Raph stared at the wall that was blocking their way, briefly considering just smashing his way through it, but people lived here…

“Guess we’re doing this!” Leo called, his sword in his hands as he turned to face the army of Mutant Silverfish. He and Mikey leapt forward, starting to take the mutants down.

Raph let go of the Battleshell still in his other hand, but hesitated on letting go of Don, who was giving him an impatient look.

“Are you going to keep holding me over here while Mikey and Leo fight?”

“No, but…”

“Put me down, Raph. I didn’t suddenly stop being able to fight. I’m quite _offended_ you seem to think that way.”

“I don’t! It’s just- your shell-”

“Nothing’s going to happen to my shell, I didn’t suddenly forget how to fight!”

Mikey yelped when the Silverfish just kept coming, overwhelming the two turtles. Raph was torn, but ended up letting Don back on his own feet. He gave his brother a worried glance before rushing forward to help the struggling brothers.

Don spun his bo-staff, following Raph into the fight. Moving was easier without the Battleshell, but Don did feel a bit vulnerable. But it didn’t matter- none of the Silverfish got even close to his shell before being sent away with the swirling staff. But the turtles still had the multiplying-mutants-problem, and they weren’t really getting anywhere like this.

Don sent another one of the grey mutants flying with a swing of his bo, when something grabbed his arm and pulled. His shell connected softly with Raph’s plastron, and Don glanced up at his brother with a puzzled look.

“Don’t worry, Don, I got your back,” Raph told him, turning both of them so that he could punch the Silverfish which had jumped at them. Raph’s body was as good as a shield could get, that was true, but Don didn’t need it right now. He couldn’t properly fight when Raph was so close to him, holding his arm in place to keep him shielded.

“Raph- I appreciate it, but-”

Raph moved again, dragging Don with him, and the smaller turtle could only groan in frustration. Raph wasn’t letting him move on his own, wasn’t letting him fight, he was _babying_ him! Don opened his mouth to properly protest, when Raph’s hold suddenly disappeared on him as he pushed him forward. He stumbled, having not been prepared for the push, but Mikey’s hands grabbed his shoulders and steadied him. The youngest leaned against his back, covering his shell with his own body as he clung to him.

“Hey, now I’m your shield, Donnie!” Mikey announced, and Don said nothing. Sure, his shell was safe again, but once more he couldn’t fight. Mikey’s weight on him prevented that, and suddenly the turtle in orange put his whole weight on him, forcing Don to lean down. Just in time to dodge the Silverfish which now flew over them as they missed their targets.

“Mikey! _Ugh,_ get off me, let me-”

Mikey eased his hold, and Don took the opportunity to step away from him. As soon as he turned around he felt something else press against his shell- and when he glanced over his shoulder he could see Leo behind him, standing next to him with his back to him. Not holding him in place, but still shielding his shell. They were _all_ babying him.

And it was the last drop.

“Would you guys just _get away from me?_ ”

Don’s tone was harsh, and he jumped away from his brothers, not really looking where he was going. His fighting style needed space; the range of his bo was wide, and his tech tended to sometimes get out of his control. His brothers knew his style and knew what he needed, but were giving him the exact opposite now.

All because they thought he was suddenly weak.

Now he was able to properly do his thing, and he could show his brothers that he was very well capable of taking care of himself, Battleshell on or not. He knew it was a brilliant invention, definitely a big advantage in a fight, but he was _not_ useless without it.

He was dwelling too much in his frustrated thoughts, and hadn’t realized that he had sent himself right in front of a bigger Silverfish. Some of the small mutans had merged back into a bigger one, and now it loomed over Donatello. Retreat sounded good right about then, so Don whirled around, realizing his mistake as soon as he made it.

He had just spent so much time dwelling on his Battleshell, yet had forgotten its absence so quickly. He was more intelligent than what was good for him, yet had just done the most idiotic thing he could do- turned his Battleshell-less shell to the enemy.

The enemy wasn’t even intelligent enough to realize what kind of an advantage it now had, but it seized the opportunity anyways. The Silverfish’s attack connected with his soft shell, the impact hard enough to send him toppling forward. And it _hurt,_ it hurt so bad, the pain radiating from his shell to his spine, almost forcing tears into his eyes.

He managed to catch himself on his hands, but was too dazed to do anything than stay there, on his knees, just bearing the pain. It wasn’t the first time his shell had gotten roughed up, there had been lots of times before the Battleshell had been created, but he had never experienced anything this intense. He had never been in a real fight without the protective shell, and this radiating pain was new, making Don feel very, very vulnerable.

Despite what he had just said, he wouldn’t have minded if Raph had picked him up right then.

And maybe Raph had heard his thoughts, because the next thing he registered were arms wrapping around him, pulling him against big brother’s chest, careful to not touch the area where his hurt was radiating from. The pain wasn’t so bad anymore, slowly fading into a somewhat bearable ache, but he still couldn’t move. The impact hadn’t been able to break anything, but the pain in his spine had left his whole body aching and weak.

“I got you,” Raph told him, his voice small, but firm. “I got you.”

 

* * *

 

The shell healed, but Don kept himself locked in his lab. The brothers knew he was repairing the broken Battleshell, relieved to know that Don would soon be wearing it again, but also hating the gap that was now between them and the genius. They needed to talk about what had happened, but Donatello just wasn’t giving them the time or chance for it. The damage done to the Battleshell hadn’t been big enough for Don to take _days_ to fix it, yet he kept working and working.

When they had finally decided to drag Don out of his lab they were almost slammed in the face with the opening doors of the lab.

“Behold!”

Donatello stood there, wearing his protective shell, only the shell was not the Battleshell they knew. Heavy upgrades had made it double in size, making it look ridiculous, but also kind of... menacing. Different tools were sprouting from the sides, maybe Don hadn’t been able to fit everything inside it despite the admirable size. Especially the chainsaw visible on his left caused some concern.

“Wow! Donnie, that looks amazing!” Mikey praised immediately, walking behind Don to admire his work. Don leaned against the doorframe, clearly pleased with himself as he started talking about details Mikey understood nothing about. The youngest was still nodding enthusiastically.

Leo and Raph weren’t so excited, and changed worried looks.

“Don… isn’t that a bit too… much? It looks heavy...”

Leo’s voice was careful, but this _was_ too much. Don’s proud expression didn’t falter as he shook his head, stepping forward, but the weight on his back took him off balance. He would’ve fallen backwards had Raph not rushed to place a hand over the ridiculous shell, keeping Don in place.

“No, no, it’s just enough,” Don said, ignoring how he had almost fallen over, patting Raph’s hand away and managing to stand on his own this time. They did notice how Don’s legs shook under the weight, how the dark circles under his eyes were briefly visible even with his mask on. “The new casing should withstand anything, and with the upgraded tools, and with the-”

They let Don go on, but their worry didn’t leave. During the day Don kept struggling carrying the new weight, but he was stubborn to keep wearing it. They were pretty sure that Don would tire himself out and come to his senses, but once it was getting dark topside Don was eager to go test his new gear.

It went without saying that it couldn’t end up in anything than a disaster.

“Don, all this really isn’t necessary,” Raph tried to say, then fidgeted. He was still sorry about what had happened during their last fight, and had to get it out of his system. “I’m sorry I got on your way last time, I know you can fight without all the tech!”

Don only waved his hand. “No, don’t worry about it, it was the faulty wiring. Nothing faulty about this, though.” Don patted the side of his new shell.

Raph wasn’t happy with his answer, still feeling guilty, and one look at his brothers told him that Leo and Mikey were still feeling the same guilt. He could’ve just dragged Don back from the doorway where he already was, but knew that if Don really wanted to test out his new shell, he couldn’t do much about it.

Best to just go with him.

The city was lively as usual, but they were out of sight on the rooftops. Don was focused on his new shell, so it was left to the other three to keep an eye on their surroundings. Which they did poorly, their attention too much on Don, both in curiosity and worry. Don had already almost lost his balance while being too close to the roof’s edge, and they didn’t really trust the Battleshell’s hovering ability to be able to carry all the new weight.

Don was struggling to get the tools he had been testing back inside the casing, muttering to himself, his brothers watching without commenting. Leo opened his mouth a few times, but two warning looks from his brothers kept him quiet.

Nobody noticed the grey mutants climbing up the side of the building, not until the hissing was audible, making the turtles whirl around and discover that they were surrounded. The rooftop was full of Mutant Silverfish, their red eyes glowing as they snarled at the turtles.

“What, these guys again?” Mikey moaned.

“We kinda didn’t get rid of them the last time,” Leo reminded him, drawing his sword, but Raph jumped in front of his brothers.

“We’re retreating!” the leader announced, glancing at Leo. “You get Don into a portal, me and Mikey will follow-”

“Wait, what?” Don interrupted, pushing Mikey and Leo to the side as he stepped forward. “Retreat? But this is the perfect opportunity to test out the new features!”

“Don,” Raph started, but Don interrupted him again.

“I don’t blame you from the last time.” Don’s voice was calm, but his tone was chilly. “But you’re still doing the same thing. Thinking I don’t got this.”

Raph opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t quite find the words fast enough. Don jumped forward, easily getting rid of the first batch of Silverfish with his new upgrades. Don was the best at dealing with the smaller ones, and with the new features the job was getting done even faster.

Don wasn’t fast with the heavy weight on him, far from it, but it was like he didn’t even need to be. His shell didn’t just bring aid to his attacks, but to his defenses as well. But he was still only one turtle, and the small mutants just kept coming – so the rest of the family joined the action.

The roof was too small for the fight, and it felt like for every Silverfish they dropped off, two more climbed back up. But they couldn’t keep coming forever, right?

Donatello didn’t really mind – this test run was going perfectly. Of course he’d still have to figure out what to do about his mobility, but for now he managed. Up until a low beep coming from his shell made him halt.

“That’s not a good sound,” he muttered, hoping he had just misheard, but there the beep was again. But how? The Battleshell wasn’t supposed to overheat this easily! He felt increasing heat against his real shell, and knew he had to take the Battleshell off. He could hide and wait for it to cool down, but that’d mean leaving his brothers behind. He could also take it off and keep fighting… without anything to cover his shell. Don gulped, the last fight immediately on his mind. He felt the ghost-pain on his shell, and wasn’t looking forward to exposing his shell to any danger ever again.

The Battleshell was already letting out steamy, hissy sounds, forcing Don to retreat behind his brothers. With a deep, regretful breath he released the Battleshell, hating the vulnerability which immediately enwrapped him. He gripped his bo-staff tightly, determined to not let this slow him down. He had said it himself – nothing would happen to his shell, he hadn’t just magically forgotten how to fight.

That’s what he had said, and then he had got hurt.

A few mutants got past his brothers, coming at him with their snappy teeth and sharp claws. It would’ve been easy to get rid of them with a swipe of his weapon, but instead he jumped out of their way, retreating close to Mikey, relieved when the youngest got rid of the Silverfish with his own weapon. Then he realized what he had done, had sought shelter from his brother, and felt angry at himself for allowing his fear to have gotten a hold on him.

The anger allowed him to take his own place, away from his brothers. He faced the enemy, but to his horror he was up against two bigger Silverfish. Once again the smaller ones had formed into two big ones, and Donatello found himself taking quick, retreating steps.

He glanced towards his brothers, but nobody was coming to his aid. Just like he had asked.

The other mutant lunged at him, and Don was running, heading towards Leo. He grabbed his shoulders, turning Leo towards the mutant still chasing him, while hiding behind his brother.

“Don, wha-”

“You’ve got a sword! Cut it!”

Leonardo obeyed and was able to chase the bigger mutant back, and Donatello felt mortified at his own actions. He stared down at his hands, still gripping his bo-staff, just unable to use it.

This time he didn’t mean to hide behind one of his brothers, but still found himself from behind Raph. The eldest punched one of the bigger mutants away, getting a short break and using it to glance over his shoulder at Don.

“Donnie? Where’s your-”

“It overheated,” Don admitted quickly, looking helpless as he stared up at Raph. “And I can’t- without it, I’m…”

Raph punched another mutant away, stepping away from Don in the process, and Don quickly came back closer, not feeling safe leaving the protection Raph was giving. Raph glanced at him again, guilt written all over his face.

“Don, listen,” Raph started. “It was wrong of us to get so protective over you the last time. You’re right, it makes no difference whether you’re wearing the Battleshell or not. You’re totally capable of protecting yourself!”

Don didn’t look convinced, only averting Raph’s eyes. “We all know what happened last time.”

Raph turned fully around to look at him. “And we all know it was because of how pushy we got. I’m sorry I made you doubt yourself – that was never my intention! You’ve always been able to-”

Raph had his back turned to the enemy, and he didn’t see the huge Silverfish looming behind him. But Don did, and his eyes got wide as he saw how big it was. Raph noticed his gaze, and was about to turn around, but Don knew Raph wouldn’t be fast enough-

Don jumped up onto Raph’s shoulder, then into the air to swing his bo in a wide arc, the end of the weapon cracking against the side of the Silverfish’s head. The large mutant went down with a cry, but the smaller ones were still coming at them. Don hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at Raph, who looked at him with beaming eyes.

Don looked down at his hands again, then at the mutant on the ground, and slowly his confidence was returning. He steeled himself, swirling his bo and joining the fight once more. His own skill kept the enemies far from his shell, and if one or two were able to get past him, his brothers took care of them.

With the balance of the team restored they finally got the mutants down. The roof was littered with the grey creatures, some dragging themselves back down over the edge of the rooftop, some laying still.

“That actually went well,” Don said once he had caught his breath, leaning against his staff. “I could get used to this, going out without my Battleshell-”

“ _NO!_ ”

Don rolled his eyes at the simultaneous response coming from all of his brothers. He hadn’t been serious. But now they were all blabbering about how they regretted the last time, telling him they respected him and his skills, and Don knew they meant what they said. They needed him in a fight, just as he needed them to look after his back.

“-we just want you to be safe,” Raph was finishing. “You know that, right?”

Don smiled fondly at them.

“I do. And, well, I do prefer it when my shell isn’t all out in the open, too,” he said, then glanced at the new Battleshell he had left to the side, sighing. Yeah, he had kinda overdone the upgrades. At least he could find some other use to the new parts once he’d take the thing apart and return it to what it used to be. He’d start as soon as they got back home.

Don walked towards the abandoned shell, but the sleepless nights he had used on building the new features seemed to come at him all at once, causing him to stumble on his steps. He was caught quickly, Leo on his left and Mikey on his right. Raph retrieved the Battleshell, knowing Don was too exhausted to carry it back. Don didn’t resist when he was lifted up, Leo giving him a piggyback ride back towards home.

Don was as capable of taking care of himself just as his brothers were, but it didn’t mean that he always had to. There were times when he could allow himself to lean on them, let them take care of him.

But there were also times when his tolerance for being carried around was definitely reaching its limits. After this, no more carrying.

At least until the next time Raph would just swoop him up. Maybe he’d only complain a little.


	5. Ache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The server had a bonus week, so here's one more chapter! And ofc it's late despite being so short and simple... I want to write, but once I finally get home I'm usually too tired to even think about writing. But anyways, here's something with Don & Raph. Thanks for dropping by!
> 
> Chapter 5 prompt - Ride

It’s past bedtime for four small turtles, Splinter tells them, but Don knows he just wants to watch his late-time shows in peace. He ushers them towards their shared room, and picks Mikey up when the youngest is already too sleepy to walk on his own.

“Raph too!” Raph holds his hands up, expects Splinter to pick him up despite being already almost as tall as their father. There are times when Raph just doesn’t realize his own size, but who could blame him; he’s growing much faster than the rest of the brothers. Splinter looks at him, and the look in his eyes is similar to those times they’ve caught him looking at the old pictures he keeps stored away.

“Papa’s back needs a break, red,” he tells his eldest gently, patting the side of his face. Raph nods, but can’t quite hide his disappointment. Don is still sitting on the couch, watching from the side. He can’t remember the last time their father had picked Raph up.

Leo’s slowly leaning on him, falling asleep while still sitting up. He’s about to push his brother off of him when Raph comes back to them, picks Leo up and turns to Don do the same to him- but Don stands up and walks on his own.

He feels this stupid ache in his chest, because he knows that their father’s back doesn’t need just a break; he’s not able to carry Raph anymore. He wonders if Raph knows that too, that nobody’s ever going to carry him again.

 

* * *

 

Small hands wrap around cold metal, tugging at it, making it move an inch, then another.

Someone bigger than him grabs the other end, pushes, and Don almost falls over when the piece of metal moves so fast. Mikey and Leo giggle at him, and Raph apologizes.

“Sorry, Donnie. Didn’t mean to make it hit you.”

“Waphie is so strong!” Mikey beams from his spot on Raph’s back, wrapping his hands around big brother’s neck and pressing their cheeks together. Leo tries to climb up the other side of Raph’s shell, telling Mikey that it’s his turn to stay on Raph, and Mikey only sticks his tongue out at him.

Donatello isn’t even five, yet he’s trying to drag the metal home so he can create something useful out of it. Maybe it’ll become a part for the heater he’s working on, or maybe it could be used for something in the kitchen. He’s trying to make their life easier, while Mikey and Leo are doing the very opposite. And as usual, Raph just endures it, trying to scold them, but ends up babying them and carrying them back home.

Don tugs at the heavy piece again, determined to drag it on his own. Raph’s got his hands full with Mikey and Leo, after all.

The cold air makes him shiver, and Don decides that this is going for the heater. They’ve already got decent heating at their simple home, but it’s never quite warm enough. Always a bit chilly for cold-blooded creatures such as them.

He’s truly struggling to make the metal move, and his feet slip on the icy sewer floor. He falls on his shell, not really hurting himself, yet Raph is there in an instant.

And he’s picked up.

A few days later, exploring the sewers with Splinter, Raph falls over on the same ice. Splinter is quick to kneel next to him, to check on him, to comfort him when his left leg doesn’t quite hold his full weight.

Splinter lets him lean on him, but nobody picks Raph up.

 

* * *

 

Cars and racing are a hobby Don and Raph share. They love looking at old magazines Splinter has been able to get them, excitedly pointing at their favorite models.

“I like that one!” Mikey, who was just passing by, tells them. He points at an orange car, and Don rolls his eyes.

“Because it’s orange, right?” The youngest nods, and Don shares a knowing look with Raph. Amateur.

They keep reading the magazines, long after Mikey has lost interested and wandered off to look for Leo. Raph flips a page, then sighs.

“Too bad we’re never gonna be able to ride one,” he says, then flips the page again. Don glances at him, then returns his gaze to the magazine.

The next day the piece meant for the heater goes into making something completely else. The junkyard they’re not supposed to go to offers him the tires and the other parts needed to build a simple car, far from the ones in the magazines, but it’s a car. It’s not big, but roomy enough for Raph to be able to fit in. Despite Leo and Mikey begging him to let them ride it, he doesn’t let them. This is something for Raph.

The old parts make the vehicle make sounds which are not-good, and it’s far from fast, but the thing works. For a while. When it finally breaks down Don fiddles with the engine, trying to coax it back to life despite knowing that the ancient thing has come to the end of its road. It’s still hot from the recent use, but Don is eager to fix it, burnt fingertips being a small price.

When the engine suddenly explodes in his face he’s down on his shell again, dazed, not surprised when he finds himself being lifted by a worried Raph.

Why does this always happen?

“I wanted to carry you for once,” Don mumbles on the way back home, still being held by Raph, who’s too afraid to let him down yet. He’s fine, the explosion only took them by surprise, and he’s frowning, looking away. Raph tilts his head at him.

“Carry me?”

“You know. By letting you ride that thing.” Don crosses his arms over his chest, because saying this out loud is silly. He wanted to make Raph happy, yet here he is, having to spill out his plans.

“I know it’s not the same, but…” It’s about so much more than just carrying Raph – it’s about the pressure Don know Raph has started carrying, brought by his role as the eldest, the leader. All this Don wants to say, but the words just don’t come out. He’s not good at this, at telling how he really feels. That’s why he just wanted to _make_ something, in order to replace the things he has never been able to say.  

Raph blinks, then a grin appears on his face. Don knows what’s coming, but he’s still being carried by Raph, and can’t escape the hug his brother traps him in.

“Thank you, Donnie,” Raph says after Don’s freed from the hug. “But don’t you worry about it. I really like carrying you guys around!”

 _It’s not just that!_ Don opens his mouth, but knows it’s useless. He can’t find the words, and he can’t even be upset about it when Raph looks so happy. And maybe he truly is, right now, but Don knows the doubts Raph already has about his place as the leader. Knows Raph doesn’t think too much about it _now,_ but what if one day he will? Will that smile disappear then?

One day he’ll build up the courage to say what he really wants to say.

 

* * *

 

As it turns out, he builds the turtle tank before building up anything even remotely close to openly expressed emotions.

Building something like the tank has been a dream of his, but he doesn’t build it just because of himself. Leo and Mikey get their spots, but Raph gets to drive. Not just because he’s the leader, not just because it’s one of the ways he wants to make his brothers happy – it’s something for the Raph of the _past_ too, the turtle who thought he’d never get to ride one of the cars from the magazines. (Of course, none of the magazines had _anything_ like the tank, but obviously this is way cooler.)

They’ve all grown, and Don’s long since learned to worry less about his big brother. Raph has proven he doesn’t need it, well, most of the time he doesn’t. And when he does, Don makes sure to nudge him towards the tank with a casual,

“Hey, Raph, wanna go for a ride?”

And when Raph’s expression brightens and it’s clear his smile isn’t going anywhere, the ache in Don’s chest eases a little.


End file.
